A midnight post

I can't sleep again. I was tired until I sat down here and started writing. I can't stop writing. For some reason I feel like every thought and every feeling I have needs to be written down. I have had so many thoughts, revelation and eye-opening experiences over the past two weeks that my head cannot hold it all in. I have already written over 50 pages in these past two weeks! For me, that is quite a bit. I am not so great at journaling.

Just a few thoughts I want to put on here before I go toss and turn in bed more. Though the last two weeks have been the hardest in my life, I am so grateful. I am grateful for my amazing family. I love them. They support me in a way that no one else can. My sister is in my soul. She is half of me.
I am grateful for my friends. They know what I need. They help without question. They talk to me for hours. They make me laugh and have fun. They are my family out here where we have no actual blood related family. I am grateful for Heavenly Father. I am grateful for this trial. There are people that have been through so much worse. I am in awe as I read their stories. They made it through, so can I. There will be more trials, more tragedies in my life. I am grateful for my sweet Henry. He has opened my mind up and my heart in a way only he could. His pureness and peace is felt every time I think or look at a picture of him. I miss him, I ache for him, I cry for him. But my mind is at peace. I know his spirit is incredible. I feel it. I feel him. I feel his influence in my life.

I love Ben. Words do not do it justice. He is my rock. My love. I love my Jack . He gives me love like no one else can. I am so blessed to have them in my life and truly feel joy with them.